This Is Technically Food

There was a time when I’d come home from work, and there was only one thing I wanted to taste: the cold steel of a gun barrel. But don't worry! Now that I’ve discovered this recipe, there are two things!

If, like me, you think that trivialities such as dignity and self-respect are dispensable, this dish (Technically Food) is for you. Technically Food is truly a medley of flavors – the salty crunch of Fritos™ corn chips, the fresh-out-of-the-can chili and baked beans, the finest in boxed macaroni and cheese – they all come together to create something that, for better or for worse, words cannot describe.

The key to this dish is to start with only the finest ingredients. The macaroni and cheese layer is made with Safeway™ brand macaroni and cheese. I’ve used the instant microwave variety before, but here at Pickled Rose, we like to put our best foot forward. If you decide to recreate this dish, you could cut corners, but by the time you’ve actually committed yourself to making it, won’t you have already fallen far enough?

Technically Food

Ingredients

 

1 bag of Fritos Original corn ships

Sadness

1 can of bean-free chili

Self-loathing

1 can of pork and beans

1 bag of fancy shredded cheese blend

A six-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon, a bottle of King Cobra, or anything else that will help you convince yourself that what you’re about to do is a good idea.

Instructions

Preheat the oven to whatever. Seriously, do you think the temperature matters? I think we both know that if you’re actually making this thing, nothing has mattered in a long, long time.

Spread a layer of corn chips about half an inch thick over the bottom of a casserole dish (preferably a clear one, so that you can gaze upon the beautiful intricacy of the layers).

Abandon all hope.

Cover the chips with a layer of shredded cheese, followed by the chili.

 

 

Don't ask, man. I don't even know.

Prepare the macaroni and cheese. The instructions can be found on the box. Or any episode of Sandra Lee’s show.

Spread a layer of macaroni and cheese over the chili. Spread the pork and beans over the macaroni. Finally, top it off with another layer of shredded cheese, and some crushed Fritos.

 

Yep, that sure is a color that has occured anywhere in nature, ever!

 

 

 Cook it in the oven until everything is melted and heated through.

 

Take it out of the oven, and "enjoy"…preferably off of a paper plate while standing over the sink.

On another note, I just noticed that today is April 1st, and that the one-year anniversary of the founding of Pickled Rose passed over a month ago, and we didn't even notice. Sorry about that, I guess. Rest assured, however, that we have every intention of sticking around for another year. Maybe instead of marking the anniversary of the founding of this blog, we'll start marking the anniversary of the debut of this amazing meal. Just FYI, that will be APRIL FIRST, 2013. Mark your calendar.